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Monday, December 29, 2008

Office Dares

ONE-POINT Dares

1) Run one lap around the office at top speed.
2) Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.
3) Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say"Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye."
4) To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears andGrimace.
5) Walk sideways to the photocopier.
6) While riding in an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.

THREE-POINT DARES

1) Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with double-barreledfingers.
2) Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, "Did you get all that,I don't want to have to repeat it".
3) Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).
4) Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from thenozzle(there must be a non-player within sight).
5) Shout random numbers while someone is counting.

FIVE-POINT DARES

1) At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice toconclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if youactually launch into it yourself).
2) Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you withgrowing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.3) For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Bob".
4) After every sentence, say 'Mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in"The report's on your desk, Mon". Keep this up for one hour.
5) While an office mate is out, move their chair into the elevator.
6) In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly andmutter, "Shut up, darn it, all of you just shut up!".
7) At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, "As God as my witness,I'll never go hungry again".
8) In a colleague's diary, write in 10am: "See how I look in tights". (Extrapoints if it is a male, even more if he is your boss)
9) Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask "You wanna trade?".
10) Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person:
11)"Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now".
12) Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, ! "I can't talkabout it".
13) Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won a lunchfor four at a local restaurant. Let him go.
14) Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during a veryimportant conference call.
15) Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.
16) Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pantsand act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.
17) Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and cookie, smashing eachbiscuit with your fist.
18) During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.
19) Arrange toy figures on the table to represent each meeting attendee,move them according to the movements of their real-life counterparts.And if that wasn't enough for you... :)

How to keep a healthy level of insanity:

1) At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2) Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are going to haveto let one of you go."
3) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries withthat.
4) Put your trash can on your desk and label it IN."
5) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten overhis or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6) Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."
7) Dont use any punctuation !
8) Use, too...much; punctuation!
9) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10) Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
11) Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
12) Sing along at the opera.
13) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
14) Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle soundsall day.
15) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their partybecause you're not in the mood.
16) Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name.
17) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won! I Won! 3rd Time thisweek!!!"
18) When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, Runfor your lives, they're loose!"

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